陳明發博士《文創敘事技能系列 2》：是幽默，不是油墨

一般上，幽默的人更容易贏得別人的友誼。

可是，在不恰當的情況下表現幽默，有時倒會落得一身油、一身墨。

有一個大男人，在朋友中是公認的幽默大師；對於他的太太來說，卻是最大的精神虐待者。因為他的幽默，不過是拿女人來挖苦吧了。

稱贊他幽默的人，也不過是幾個沒膽量結婚，或是結了婚忘了學習做個好丈夫、好爸爸的男人。

老妻前眾神回避，美女前萬分親民

以下，是大男人為自己的機智感到無上驕傲的四個名篇：

“現代的女人不再相信一見鐘情這回事，因為她們說，你怎麼可能一眼便看出那男人有多少錢？”

（Feature Photo： Giraffe by Kamal Jarchiyev，www.facebook.com/kamaljarchiyev ）

“我太太對我埋怨，說她自從嫁給我後，每天都像牛一樣給我忙裏忙外，為甚麼我還嫌不夠。我跟她講，當然不夠啦，我娶你回來的時候，你老爸敲了我一頭牛，牽走我一條豬，還提去我一籮雞鴨呢。”

“那天，我的鄰居問我，我們的住宅區最近發生了一件醜聞，我有沒聽說。我告訴他說，沒有，我太太最近回娘家去了。”

“天下間，最有魅力的男人，是懂得惹笑的男人；最有魅力的女人，是惹火的女人。”

大男人太忙於逢人表演他的惹笑才華，沒時間去了解人的忍耐是有限的，更沒時間去了解枕邊人的感受。有一天，他的太太真的給他惹得火了。他的嶽父嶽母從鄉下來，他開車子載了太太到車站去接。老人家許久沒來看他們了，他居然一路上講不到三句話，太太心裏當然是不高興了。

半路，車子發出怪聲，便就近拐去朋友的修車廠看看。工人忙著檢查車子引擎，大男人忙著和老板談天。在車上時是眾神回避，在朋友面前卻是萬分親民。可憐太太和兩老呆呆站在一旁，又燥又熱。後來，老板的姨子出現，他不但變得更風趣生動，突然還風流瀟灑起來，發表了他的最新名篇：

“現代社會，三步一芳草，要愛一個女人還不容易？要讓女人知道自己愛她，倒是有點難；要兩人相愛又更難；最難的，是兩人相愛了，老婆不破壞好事！”

太太是忍無可忍了，拿起地上的黑油桶，往他身上就潑去。他的朋友倒是機智真人，說了一句：“一生幽默的人，變成了一身油、一身墨！”

討不到光環，反落得灰頭灰臉

挖苦，可以是幽默的一種方式。真正的高招，是自我嘲笑，表現出本身人性、平凡、自然的一面，令人感到輕松、親切。在談到舊政府管理州財富不當時，沙巴前首席部長楊德利常說：“沙巴的木山，已經和我的頭髮一樣光了。”群眾一粲，對舊政府濫伐森林的批判，三言兩語便取得共鳴。

夫妻、深交間的玩笑，在適當的場合與時間，偶爾為之，輕輕淡淡、沒有惡意，唯有諒解、包涵、支援，有助於增進感情。

我年輕時，企圖心大，不順遂處，總浮躁不安。太太便說：“你手短腳短的，慢慢來嘛。”明知是玩笑，心裏還是不很服氣。我矮是矮了點，可是又不是我自己要長成這樣子。說我短小精悍，比鄧小平還高一點點，不是很好嗎？

後來，慢慢的我領悟到，這話裏頭實在有一份智慧；我們的出身，就像那年代的多數新村家庭，不是窮怕了，大概也是窮慣了。人生起步，原來就不好。而現有的收獲，比起小時候來，是很豐富、很豐富了。有了這份肯定和感恩，往後的年歲，莊敬從容的盡心盡力就是。

政治人物之間的挖苦，固然可以打擊對手、給自己加光環，但也一樣要看情況。在錯誤的場合與時間，內容、言詞捉捏不當，而且忘記了人與人之間應有的尊重，結果苦的恐怕不是對手，而是自己；惹火了中立的群眾，不一身油一身墨也不行了。

大家記憶猶新的現成教材，是某位內閣部長用方言形容政敵為：“還慘過海南人，狼莫敵狼，鬼莫敵鬼（人不像人，鬼不像鬼，比海南人還糟）。”在後來的輿論前面，相信他還感受到，那有關人和鬼的形容，拿來描述他自己的處境恰恰好。

（刊於2000年12月20日《星洲日報》《星雲》版）

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Comment by 堅持深博 1 hour ago: Author of this article
Dr. Tan Beng Huat (陳明發博士)

By 2026, ICONADA Network (www.iconada.tv) will mark its 17th anniversary. Dr. Tan Beng Huat (陳明發博士), after 16 years devoted to human resource development, transitioned into research and promotion in the cultural and creative fields—a journey that has now spanned 29 years. Looking back on 45 years of professional life, there may be no claim to great honors or accolades, yet there has been no shortage of initiatives undertaken voluntarily and with commitment. Through extensive practice, and after creating or overseeing the publication of approximately 60,000 to 70,000 original pieces of content, certain insights have naturally emerged. There is confidence that these reflections retain forward-looking value. They are now being gradually compiled and shared as a gesture of gratitude to the many friends and supporters, at home and abroad, who have quietly stood by us over the years.

Some undertakings are clearly beyond the capacity of a single generation, let alone one individual. What remains today is to leave behind records and documentation. Should those with both the opportunity and capability encounter them in time, they may serve as useful references for local and rural transformation—particularly for cultural-creative and local-industry–school collaboration initiatives aimed at helping students in underserved rural areas realize their aspirations.

Dr. Tan Beng Huat was among the earliest pioneers in promoting Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) education in Malaysia. At the time, he led “Motivation Alliance,” one of the earliest training institutions certified by Malaysia’s Ministry of Human Resources. This period spanned roughly six years, from 1995 to the turn of the millennium. While collaborating with international partners in the field of NLP, Dr. Tan—who had been engaged in professional training since 1981—integrated extensive local content and his own research insights. In parallel, he advanced the study and practice of what he termed “Mindset and Inner Quality Studies,” which received strong endorsement from the media, academic institutions, and political and civic organizations.

Following the impact of the 1997 East Asian Financial Crisis, Dr. Tan shifted his focus to the cultural and creative industries, moving from individual potential development to community-based capacity-building initiatives. What has remained constant throughout this transition is the central role of poetic sensibility and creativity in all research, development, and training activities. Guided by this poetic orientation, his perspective later expanded to include interdisciplinary training elements such as Noetic Science and Poetic Thinking.