梁實秋《雅舍小品》拜倫(中)

女性說話的聲音往往最能打動男人的心。看這幾行詩可以知道拜倫對他妹妹如何傾倒。但是下面幾行詩充分顯示這一段畸戀是如何的使他忐忑不安:


你的名字我不說出口,我不思索,

那聲音中有悲哀,說起來有罪過:

但是我頰上流著的熱淚默默的

表示了我內心深處的情意。

 

為熱情嫌太促,為寧靜嫌太久,

那一段時光——其苦其樂能否小休?

我們懺悔,棄絕,要把鎖鏈打破,——

我們要分離,要飛走——再度結合!

 

I speak not, I trace not, I breathe not thy name;

There is grief in the sound, there is guilt in the fame;

 

But the tear that now burns on my cheek may impart

the deep thoughts that dwell in that silence of heart.

 

Too brief for our passion, too long for our peace,

were those hours - can their joy or their bitterness cease?

 

We repent, we abjure, we will break from our chain,

we will part, we will fly - to unite it again!

 

Oh! Thine be the gladness, and mine be the guilt!

Forgive me, adored one! Forsake if thou wilt;

 

But the heart which is thine shall expire undebased,

and man shall not break it - whatever thou may'st.

 

And stern to the haughty, but humble to thee,

this soul in its bitterest blackness shall be;

 

And our days seem as swift, and our moments more sweet,

with thee at my side, than with worlds at our feet.

 

One sigh of thy sorrow, one look of thy love,

shall turn me or fix, shall reward or reprove.

 

And the heartless may wonder at all I resign -

thy lips shall reply, not to them, but to mine.

他感到悲苦,他意識到罪過,但是他於決定分手之際仍企望著再度的結合。拜倫與奧格斯塔生下了一個女兒,一直在拜倫夫人的照顧下,夫人是以嚴峻著名的女人,對奧格斯塔所生的孩子當然沒有感情,但是對於這可憐的孩子卻也給了多年的相當的贍養,不過二人之間的感情極不融洽,孩子認為沒有得到她所應得的一份遺產,夫人覺得她忘恩負義。這可憐的孩子身世坎坷,一再被人欺淩失身,顛連困苦,終於流浪到了法國,最後和一個年紀相當大的法國農夫結婚,不久又成了孀居,關於這個孩子的苦難,無需詳加敘述,令人不能已於言者就是拜倫當初未能克制自己,鑄此大錯,始亂終棄,並且殃及後人!

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